Ethan in an old Army Campaign hat he loves.
I'm setting at my father in law's old desk. It was on its way to my sister in law's barn after he died. I hadn't given it any thought I was trying to be a good in law and stay out of the way. One night my two nephews showed up at house. "Mom thought you might get more use out of this than the barn cats". They had the desk and I had a lump in my throat. I had so many conversations with him while he set behind that desk. My wife, as a child, had napped at his feet under it while he read. Some how I feel wiser sitting here, like he was. I've talked about him before. I think he liked me, I was the only son in law he talked to under his breath. A couple of his son in laws I could tell he didn't like much. They'd tell him something and he'd smile after they left and say"Well, he told it for the truth didn't he?" It was at this desk he told me he was sick of all the fuss over my upcoming wedding and briskly asked how much did I want to elope. A year later we sat there as he gently asked me not to take his daughter to that far off land of Alabama. He was good and strong like this old desk. I'm being overly sentimental I know, but this year he has been gone ten years and I still miss him . He was the kind of grand father I try to be, my daughters adored him. What really set me off was Ethan crawled between my feet and feel asleep under the desk today.
Great memories, and I can assure you are that kind of grand father.
ReplyDeleteJames, I have a lump in my throat. Not for you but for me. My dad and my grandfather had their 'desks'. They both 'left' us over thirty years ago, but their desks were the focus of who they were. That was where I found notes and books they loved. Their favourite writing paraphernalia so orderly displayed on top. I can still smell their studies... paper, leather, polished wood. Both had excellent penmanship, but the papers I kept after they died are now yellow with age. I am sure I never fell asleep under the desk, but I do remember having a chair pulled up on the 'other side', stuffed with pillows, so I could 'write' too.
ReplyDeleteLong ago.
Nowadays the 'desk' is on our laps and the books gather dust. I write only the odd thank-you-note and invitation at my desk, so I rarely sit there.
I'm so glad the barn cats didn't get your desk. What a wonderful memory you have and I am very glad you shared it. How many of my own memories it unlocked. Thank you James.
PS. You have to tell more about this far off land you wanted to go to. Your first post that I read and commented on was about 'gumbo'. Lo and behold, the other day I saw a tin in our grocery store. I couldn't help smiling. It must have felt very much out of place between the shelves full of dates and hummus.
What a lovely post James
ReplyDeleteSuch a lovely post... so great to hear the special story behind the desk and such a wonderful photograph of Ethan in the army hat too...
ReplyDeleteA very tender story; you are such a sensitive, wonderful soul it seems. I am so glad you shared this lovely tale, and so "admirative" of the way you wrote it; full of "retenue". Merci.
ReplyDeleteNothing ups the value of an object as when warm memories enhance its beauty. A lovely story, James. I am so glad you choose to share these with us.
ReplyDeleteWe are often are objects and desks are wonderful objcts to be. My hubby and I each have our own desks in our own space. Mine is an old antique that became 'antiqued' in the 1950's and I love it for it, though knowing full well that the original mahogany grain lies underneath the colonial blue with dark grey brushstrokes to simulate grain. I have about 16 books on my desk all in a row along the back held up by the wall and a little marble bust I had forever. Currently my books run the gambit from 1950's homemakers manauls, A french cookery book, A first edition 1909 novel that takes place around our area here in N.E. a book on old American Houses and a book ( I kid you not) entitled Butcher, PRocess and PReservation of Meat. I have varied interests to say the least. I also have my grandfather's fountain pen (which I use) and even an old half used stick of sealing wax.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby's desk is extra special. The first year of our marriage, my boss (I worked outside the home then) had just inherited some furnishings form his grandfather and there was an old desk that was the worse for wear. He sold it to me at a reasonable rate and allowed me to strip and refinish it in his garage, so my hubby was none the wiser. I spent hours, stripping, sanding, then layer upon layer of varnisha and polisihing all the little brass handles until it shone! Hubby was very surprised and happy and that desk has traveled to every place we have lived thus far and now resides happily in his little office upstairs. It has a row of much loved pipes, a little old tobacco jar that holds his pipe tobacco. Books, an old cup filled with pens and pencils and verious books and of course, whatever old typewriter he is using that day at its center.
Desks can tell alot about a person.
I hope you have many years mellowing and adding to the 'life' of yours. Congratulations.
Aloha James,
ReplyDeleteI adored your post. overly sentimental?,I think not, it is the true expression of love and endearment that I believe keeps those we love and miss alive in our own posterity. I can remember my oldest son who was then 2, and who is now 19 climbed up on my Father in laws wingtips to try to get to his lap and he was angry that my son had possibly scuffed his shine on his shoes. How sad that made me:(
I gathered my son in my arms and immediately thought of my recently passed Father who I had longed for his presence with my children,he would of never worried about his shoes! Well, this post touched me softly and I am sure you are a wonderful Grandfather, I think your FILaw was around when the desk was brought to you, what a sweet tribute to your relationship with him. Everyone wants to be remembered kindly, don't they?
Aloha sunshine from across the sea
Brandi
Dear James,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, sorry that I'm late. I can't seem to get any of my comments to publish on anyone's blog. Let's hope that this one works !
I found your story very endearing. It's so lovely when you get on with your in laws isn't it and I'm sure you had many a good chat with him over that desk. How lovely that you have got it now. Everytime that you sit at it, I'm sure that little memories pop into your head.
My Dad died in 2008 and we have just sold his house. Whilst clearing it, there are so many things that we come across that bring back a little memory.
Memories are worth so much more than money,aren't they ? XXXX
Beautiful and touching. I wish more men in the world had such father-figures to guide them. We could use more solid and strong men, like this old desk. Thank you for doing your best to be that kind of man. We can only hope that little Ethan will see that and aspire to be like his grandfather.
ReplyDeletelove the generational connections - rich.
ReplyDeleteSniff...sniff...
ReplyDeleteJames, Thank you for sharing this. Old desks are like old dinning room tables. The memories are sometimes overwhelming. On my desk, I have tidbits from my Great Grandfather,Grandfather and my Dad... a pen, a spyglass, glasses..when I want to feel close to them, I just reach out hold the items and I am transported into a whole different mind set. So,maybe you are a little wiser sitting there.
ReplyDeleteAlways Bumby
This is absolutely heart warming to read. I enjoyed it so much. Memories like these are what makes life special.
ReplyDeleteHello James,
ReplyDeleteSorry I am a bit late to this, no idea where my head is lately.
I guess I have the female version of this in the form of a kitchen table, it's been around for ever and while I don't doubt after all these years that it could do with being stripped down and re-varnished, so how I can't do it. I like the knocks and bumps on it and the white marks where we have put things that are too hot on it.But to me it has echo's of the past.
Lovely post James
much love
Lia
xx
Honestly, James, this touched me. My girls are 2.5 and 1 year (yesterday). I don't get around to other blogs often - I just write mine, hope it serves someone well - and am standing inthe hall when my babies are ready for breakfast. I've asked for a buy from this community in these years because I can't return the favor of being on everyone else's pages as much as I'd like lest I miss their childhood... yours was the third I read this morning and it will be the last. Back to my babies, life is too short. But I will be back, please be patient with me as I kiss tiny heads, as I think your work here is remarkable. Thank you for having me.
ReplyDeleteJames -- wonderful post and memories. nice to read about your relationship with your father in-law as being frank and between men. i admire that b/c it is so often the exception. your daughters and your grandbabies are lucky and blessed to have a man of erudition, wisdom and love behind that solid-as-an-oak legacy desk. You wear it as well as Ethan his favorite hat. -JGregg
ReplyDeleteHow very touching. xx MM
ReplyDeleteBonjour James,
ReplyDeleteSorry I'm late coming here, this is one of the sweetest posts. So touching to hear you speak of your father in law and all the special memories. What a tribute to good fathers everywhere. And how lucky he was to gain a son in you.
Ethan looks darling in that big campaign hat!
James. This is the BEST thing you've ever written. Kinda choked me up to read it. I'll give you a run for the money on the sentimentality.
ReplyDeletePS...James...I have, without your permission, stolen the picture of Ethan and linked your story via the latest post on my blog. I think everyone should read this story-if you want me to take it down-let me know.
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful story. I'd love to see the desk. How sweet your grandson slept by your feet-you are probably the BEST Gdad ever and I'm sure your FIL loved you as we all do! xoxo
ReplyDeleteSC
James, I tried to write a comment ages ago and realised I missed getting it posted, owing to being too impatient to wait to enter the password-thingy. I'll try again. It was just to tell you that my Grandma & Grandpa's desk is right behind me. I keep a 'rubber' (eraser) in the drawer they did, also a ruler and the key to their floor furnace (the house is gone now). Also, whenever I find it, some clove flavoured chewing gum. Desks are very important pieces of furniture - far more essential than computer tables or TV stands.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's why you got the desk. You're worthy of it. Nice post.
ReplyDelete