Quick hide the liquor, Grandad's awake!

Some one please hold Traveler while I mount and draw my saber. Thank you. Today I ride out to smite the ..... crap where do you start? How about the trench coat wearing, body pierced kid who walks to school singing helter-skelter? Naw he's ok, he told his mom this morning that 9 outa 10 voices say "don't shoot". How did he get like that, no parental controls? Good lets get his Marlboro smoking, dirty sweat pant wearing mom. Well she can't help him she has to work two minimum wage jobs .Wait I've got it, get the economists ! No that won't help, they reproduce too fast. Who do I focus my frustration on? Well bunkie I'm gonna tell you......nobody.
Despite what the TV pundits tell you, there ain't a whole lot you can do to change much of anything. What you can do is live your life in the way you feel is right. Put on the Bean boots , flannel lined Orvis khakis , blue button down and walk proudly where ever you go. Try to remember the man and woman with matching mullets probably think you look a bit odd. " Hey dude Mr Howell called he wants his look back" They're wrong and I'm right, but short of electrical shock treatment ( hey I made a funny electrical-short-shock) you'll never convince them. So channel your energy into living a well mannered life with class and style.
Maybe I'll just ride down and smack that kid across the keester with the flat of my saber. Ok Ok I'm getting down. Oh man! Bad horsie! On the new carpet!

A person of interest

Getting older doesn't mean getting smarter, trust me. I know why the grass is green and the sky is blue. But I'll be damned if I'll ever understand how some silly-con and electricity makes it possible to meet so many fascinating people. Like ADG who writes Maximinimus, one of the best blogs out there. (no that's not his skeleton), a true class act . Turns out he has a friend who just started her own blog, Self Disclosure . She is a professional woman, single mother of two adorable daughters and a whale of a writer. She mixes her present day life with stories from her past using a style that captivates you. You need to take a minute and visit her, I don't know how to post a link, but it is on my profile page. I'm sure you will find it as interesting as I do.

Last advice for '09

First off I want you to know my wife doesn't read this blog or any blog for that matter. She thinks the computer is for work not play, silly girl! So I want to tell you a story about her. Once upon a time, long ago ( boy was it long ago) I was dumped on Christmas Eve. My best friend Kate said come go out with her crowd on New Year's Eve.Her good friend Elaine agreed to be my "date". Sure pity, pure and simple, but hey I was really bummed. We were a big group going from party to party. At some point I sorta lost track of her. Somebody said she was down in the basement with a bunch of guys. Sure enough there she was sitting on a couch watching TV in the middle of four big guys ( who turned out to be former classmates, members of a state champion football team) . I told her Kate was ready to move on and she said "In a minute! It's Notre Dame ball second and goal on the 3" And turned away from me. In my world of self pity I had forgotten ND was in a bowl game that night. That started me out of my gloom ,life goes on,etc, etc. It wasn't love at first sight, but more like at second and goal.
By now you're hoping there is a point to this tale. Isn't there always? What I came to love in that slip of a girl wasn't her long brown hair, big hazel eyes and cute figure. OK those things didn't hurt. but the passion and intensity she shows for football ( some times I forget which one of us played the game!) she puts into her daughters, her career, our marriage and now her grandsons,. Everyone I know that has been married more than a dozen or so years has lasted because they have that connection that goes beyond physical or materiel needs. To make your relationship last seek out the things that will bind you together in 30 years time. Our life has been far from a fairy tale. We have had some amazing highs and some lows that seemed they would be impossible to overcome. And yet we did. OK this was the last bit of relationship advice I promise. Like I know! Please don't tell my wife I mentioned her cute figure. This is a long way around to wish you all Happy New Year!

A skill you need

I don't possess many talents. I could never hit a curve ball and was always a sucker for a trap block. What I can do well is omelets. Manly omelets, no parsley garnish on these! Eggs, ham or sausage and American cheese. A little salt. a little fresh ground pepper and ta-da! You are allowed Teflon, but not those two part omelet makers. The entire art of the omelet is the flip and fold. My daughters loved my creations .I still can see them sitting at our table waiting.Three sets of bed hair giggling and sometimes arguing, but always happy when the food came ! Toast and juice and let the feast begin. Sigh... they tell you it goes by fast, enjoy every minute and you try, but it goes by fast. Soon they don't come until every hair is in place and then "just juice and toast,Dad". And then there were none. Still did the omelets when they came home from college, but always one at a time. Wait this has a happy ending. This year for the first time in three years all my daughters will be here on Christmas morning, AND they all want omelets! I am a well and contented man.

Holiday Inn

My favorite holiday film. Bing being Bing, and Astaire being Astaire. I think Marjorie Reynolds was my first true love. Its just a delightful and entertaining film.
The best thing to come out of blogging has been finding that so many people feel as I do and are living their lives with dignity and style. I don't know how long I'll keep this up .I'd hate to become a bore. I just want to say thank you to all who have regenerated my faith that a lot of people are decent people and class will out. Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A message to young men

I'm going to tread softly here. I just want to say that I like women. Right up front I'll let you know this has absolutely nothing to do with s-e-x. I know very little about the subject, my experience has been happily limited to one woman for the last 34 years . I am talking about the company of women. To sit and converse with a lady is a joy so many men today don't appreciate. Not many of us would stand by and allow a man to physically abuse a woman. As Mr T used to say"Pity the fool!". But what about the guy who just plain ignores women. You know the type his woman is a possession, if he wanted company he would have married his frat brother. Hey I like to hang out with the menfolk, but I don't get "male bonding". I don't need to drink beer and urinate outdoors to establish my manhood. Come home and listen to your mate tell you about her day, share your day ,laugh or argue as long as you are communicating. If you think that diminishes your macho, then my friend you're wrong. There is nothing more manly than treating a lady with the respect and affection you expect from her. I guess to some I may sound a bit "sissified" . Again "Pity the fool!"

Sunday in the country.

It's the day of the annual in-law's Christmas gathering. My grandsons showed up in argyle. Not only did their mothers not plan it they weren't surprised they didn't. Hey I may have done something right in the parenting area after all.
We all go out to my sister-in-law's place just east of town. They have a beautiful log home on 40 acres of woods. A 12' tree in the great room, tons of decorations and best of all tons of food. Its a really nice time, and starts off the Christmas season for us. Her husband is a firefighter which is reason enough to admire him. But there's more, to get this place he started a drivers school ,ran it for several years and sold it. While he was doing that he also clerked at a convenience store on his days off and at night when his school closed. He married my sister in law after her very sad first marriage ended. He built her this place and makes her very happy. So as I sat and tried to convince myself I did not need another piece of pumpkin pie, I also thought there are still some real men left in this world. This guy is one. AND ain't my guys cute!

No words needed

The Looy and the Tiger

My last post was a little too serious for my taste, so I thought I'd visit with my father in law again. He loved history, in fact he was reading a book on Omar Bradley when he died. So I know he died happy. During one talk he was telling me how the Germans had the best tank, and I commented that I bet he had seen a lot of them. A few he replied but there was one he'd never forget.He was a forward observer in Patton's 3rd Army in 1944. He called in air strikes, but Patton was moving so fast he had to hustle to stay ahead. He was speeding down a narrow road in a jeep with a brand new 2nd Lieutenant riding shotgun. He slowed for a blind hairpin turn around a building . Not slow enough . after rounding the building they slammed into the side of a Tiger Tank. He's trying to back out, and the Lieutenant just staring wide eyed at the tank's machine gun. Then he quickly realized two things. The crew and the Tiger had already given the last full measure of devotion to the Fatherland , and the 2nd Looy had soiled himself. " My God what must of been going through your mind at that moment".
"Well" he replied in his deep baritone drawl," I had almost done what that Lieutenant did and was damn glad I hadn't".

Warning: Not PC

Excuse me while I adjust my soapbox....there. I'm not a Constitutional scholar, I don't even play one on TV. I need some one to show me where the Founding Fathers wanted God out of our country. I thought their intent was to stop any one religion from taking over . Would John Hancock
have objected to a cross as a War Memorial? Would John Jay have ordered it torn down? Who can say because no one would have thought to object.The tribute has stood in the Mojave Desert for 70 some years, now someone is "outraged and offended"? It's one of those things that I can't begin to understand. I ain't real bright and it makes my head hurt to think about it. Memorials are for the living, not the dead. If this brings peace to someone why is it a bad thing?

The Cousins

The post tree trimming candy orgy, as promised. Hey what happens at Nana's stays at Nana's. Now that Ethan has begun to talk they are really getting close. I hope it lasts. Nothing is as important as family. I truly believe that, too much has happened in my life that my family has gotten through together. Good as well as bad
Gabe is all in Old Navy, while Ethan is once again resplendent in Baby Gap. I love how they put a teddy bear on the breast pocket.

It is that time of year again. no not Santa. Time to enjoy a warm evening at home while Mother Nature does her worst. If you have a fireplace and an over stuffed chair, hooray for you! I do too. If not you have some place to relax I know. First thing you need is something to read. I would humbly like to suggest two authors you may not have considered.
Louis L'Amour and Jack London.Not their novels,but their short stories. From L'Amour ,"Off the Mangrove Coast" and from London, " To Start A Fire and other Stories" . Also any biography or maybe "Education of a Wandering Man" which is Louis's memoirs . When you read about the rough and tumble lives these men lead, ah those days are gone forever, you're transported to a fog bound tramp steamer or an icy boxcar. Pure escapism. So freshen up your drink, pull your Grandmother's quilt over your legs(no shame in keeping your feet warm!) and join these men on their adventures.

I wish I had a pencil thin mustache

Standing in the open door of a B17 is a young radioman named James Alger Kent. On a training flight over east Tennessee in 1940, two engines dead and the third one is sputtering. Three have already jumped and he has stayed as long as he could transmitting landmarks.Now only the pilot remains and he's screaming "jump Kent jump!". The man is of interest to me. His mother was killed by a tornado when he was 8, Dad died when James was 15. He was left with a 13 year old brother and not much else. He managed to keep them both alive during the depression . Finally they were both old enough to join the Army and away they went into the Army Air Corp. Back to the plane.
Just as he tensed to throw himself from the stricken bomber he heard a load roar as engine#3 fired back to life. Now the pilot is yelling "come back!" That night he and the pilot ate steak and drank beer together, while the rest of the crew spent 3 days in the wilds of east Tennessee.
James was my father-in-law and this is only one of many amazing stories this unassuming man shared with me. If I could I'd like to share a few with you.
By the way he kept the pencil thin mustache until the day he died.

The Great Unwashed Masses

This photo has nothing to do with my post, I just love showing off my peppy preppies








As I've said before I worked in the public sector for 25 years (thank you lord for civil service testing) , before that as a construction worker for about 15 years. As it turned out that was a great preparatory time for the government work. Yes I could "write a book". I remember one day..(flash back music please).
A woman wanted to see me, note I did not say lady. I've known many ladies and you madam were no lady.It started out all wrong and was entirely my fault. She was wearing sweats,socks and sandals it was 25 degrees outside. Topping it all off was a varsity jacket from a local high school that said"Band Parent" on the back.( No don't go there my brother played the trumpet. ) Dirty hair and frankly she needed a shave.In a stern tone she told me she had a problem." I can see you do " was out of my mouth before I could stop it. She was outraged and offended that one of my subordinates had been rude. Right in front of her son"whom had been standing there". " You mean who" I interrupted. "Hey I can talk as fancy as you!", "Apparently not" I retorted. Now she's mad,wants the head guy in the office. I pretended to think and said " oh my that would be me".
OK I was wrong on so many levels. It was late in the day and late in my career. I had been yelled at from above and below that day. It ended all right I opened my last can of southern charm and tapped danced my way out of trouble. See what set me off was she represented, quite well I might add, the two major things that trouble me. First with the exception of the truly homeless, there is no excuse for being dirty. Soap is cheap and will clean all your body parts from hair to toes. Secondly watch something besides Jerry Springer,or read something, anything. As you may have noticed I'm not an English major myself, but I didn't write "I ain't no english teacher nether " Our language can describe every nuance of the human experience, please don't go out of your way to murder it.
Well if you're still with me you may be thinking "wow this guy just shows whats wrong with our government bureaucracy". No argument here , you got it in one, but that will never change. Also you may think I'm a snob. No I don't think so. If white button downs and brown wingtips aren't your style ,that's cool. Whatever your style is live it with dignity. Have self pride. If you know more AC/DC quotes than Shakespeare, good for you. Just know how and when to express them. Then after you shower and put on a clean tee shirt you can march into that paper pushing civil servant's office and say" I don't want any of your wise guy attitude, I want action". Trust me it'll go" much more gooder ".

And thats the way it was

Ya know I really don't care what Michael Moore thinks, or if Tiger Woods cheated on his wife or why two very sad people got into a White House party. Yet these are the stories on tonight's news. Well I guess it's more like entertainment than news. A true newsman gives you the facts in an informed professional manner. I still laugh when I think of the time Katie Couric explained in a solemn tone that matricide was when a mother kills her children! For crying out loud doesn't anyone read this first.
I guess what it boils down to is maybe people want to be told what to think. Having to analyze the event is just too much trouble. Which brings me to Walter Cronkite. Even as his voice choked as he reported JFK had just died he didn't give you his opinion , just the news.
So Lady button your blouse up and tell the spiked haired moron next to you to put on a tie. And for the love of Mike just give me the way it was today. OK I feel better now.